Thursday, April 14, 2016

The Ravine

                Sally looked over the edge of the ravine and took a deep breath. The rest of the hiking club had already descended leaving Sally alone at the edge.

                “I’m really not sure about this,” said Sally.

                The Hiking Club guide, Seth, shouted up to Sally some garbled words of encouragement. She could not make them out though. She looked down at his tan muscled body. He flashed a “thumbs up” and she wished she hadn’t had such dirty thoughts about him on the bus ride from the city. He was so hot and active, but he was such a bro.  He was a backwards baseball cap wearing, sleeveless tee-shirt sporting, tribal tattoo, douche. But he was hot.

                “I’m really not sure about this,” shouted Sally.

                Seth nodded and gave her another “thumbs up”. The five others in the group were all high-fiving each other for their accomplishment. Sally hated them. They were all super fit, yoga pants wearing idiots. Sally was mad at herself for deciding she needed to get out more. She hated all those internet memes that encouraged her to grab life by the horns and to Just Do It.  She hated the outdoors. She hated super fit types. She hated climbing things.

                “Yeah, I don’t think I want to do this. I think I’m going to go back to the bus,” yelled Sally.

                The group now all shouted words of encouragement to her. They were cheering her on and yelling positive motivational phrases. She could hear that very clearly from her high vantage point.  It made her want to scream.  Seth was waving his arm in a “come on down” motion and giving her the “Okay” symbol. Sally took a deep breath and adjusted the climbing harness that was digging into her crotch.

                Sally looped the climbing rope around her body like Sexy Seth had instructed and she took another look over the edge of the ravine. The other hikers were still pumped up and cheering her on. Sally secretly hoped she would fall and crush one of them. She imagined herself falling towards the bottom of the ravine, her whole life flashing before her eyes. The time she gave Mr. Rolo that awkward hand job at the Christmas party, or the time everyone laughed at her when she wore a sweater that was just a bit too tight, the time she had chocolate smeared on the side of her favorite jeans by that idiot Ronny Edgars. The time they called her Short-cake Sally. As she imagined her arms flailing at her sides as her body plummeted she started to wish she would really fall. She was flush from the numerous and on-going embarrassments in her life.

                Now she was on the edge of a giant ravine in the middle of the wilderness trying to impress a douche bag tour-guide. She felt sick in her heart. She hadn’t always been so afraid of the world. When she was younger she would do just about anything. She had no fear in her early 20’s. She could really do anything. Then her Dad died and her mother followed soon after. Then she had a career change. Then she had a crappy boyfriend. Then she started eating too much. Then she got worried about dying too young like her parents. Then she got too scared to do anything.

                The cheering had subsided from below as Katie, the high end stripper hot adventuress, in her sports bra, hoodie and see through yoga pants flirted with Seth. The group had sort of stopped watching to see if Sally would make it down and were instead watching Katie use Seth as a stretching post. If Sally was going to fall on anyone it was Katie. She’d aim for her if she could.

                “Okay. Here I go,” yelled Sally. 

No comments:

Post a Comment