Friday, February 17, 2012

Is the rest of the world just as insane?

There’s one thing (well, maybe not one thing) that bothers me more than intolerance, bigotry or stupidity. It’s the people who call me to tell me that they are sending me a fax.

I’m not sure how the rest of the world deals with this or how other business type people handle this kind of ludicrousness. Just send me the stupid fax. Don’t call me to tell me that you’re sending me a fax. Just fax the damn thing. I’ll get it and be like, “Oh, a fax. I wish someone had called me to let me know it was coming”. It makes me want to jump out a window. No. Strike that. It makes me want to throw you out a window.

It’s a little thing I know. Perhaps it’s just someone being courteous and thinking about the whole business relationship thing, but it is stupid and discourteous. I have to stop whatever intensive task I’m embroiled in to answer my phone, introduce myself, you have to introduce yourself and then say, “I’m calling to let you know that I’m sending you a fax”, to which I say, “Great, I’ll keep an eye out for it”. Then we’ll hang up and I will have to try and remember what my thoughts were before you called to tell me that you’re a complete and utter moron.  It’s the tedious things I cannot stand.

I wonder if the rest of the world does things this way. Do the Chinese have this problem? The Japanese? The French? (Well, not the French, they’re hardly at work as it is.) I think I should move to France were my normal genius might be better appreciated, like Jerry Lewis or Shaka Khan.

I’m fairly certain this fax/call trend needs to end. Most offices are paperless now and there are no fax machines or things to print, so calling to let me know that a message is coming to me over the old facsimile machine is pointless. My faxes go right in to my paperless office inbox thing and I see a little notification. So when you call me to tell me the fax is on the way I want to strangle you with the old facsimile machine cord.

And yes, Fax is short for Facsimile. I literally had someone ask me what Facsimile meant on my letterhead. I wanted to drown them in their own toilet water.  So anyway, back to my point; don’t call me to tell me you’re sending a fax.  Grow up. Be a person of the intelligent world, stop masturbating so much, don’t eat hamburgers advertised as the heart attack burger, don’t try to be suave when you’re not,  use that 10 pound wrinkled mass in your skull and get a life.

Damn, I’m salty today.   

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