Wednesday, February 22, 2012

It’s a weird world, God

This morning I was waiting for my train and I noticed a truck passing on the near-by expressway. The truck was carrying a load of crushed cars. They were all pancaked flat and piled on top of each other. I saw amidst the demolished mess a bright yellow shape that used to be a car. I thought to myself that you don’t really see a lot of yellow cars these days and I wondered how old that yellow car was.  I then saw a yellow Ryder truck pass by and then a bright yellow school bus and I thought well, those don’t really count, those aren’t cars. And Taxis, well, that’s different. I then thought that just by saying that to myself I was bound to see a bright yellow car. No sooner had I thought it, a little yellow car cruised up the on-ramp to the expressway.

I chuckled to myself and wondered if I was indeed psychic or if God couldn’t help himself at that moment and just had to mess with my head. It was all pretty funny to me.
It was with this sense of holy irony I started thinking about this whole birth control issue now headlining a lot of the news stories today.

It’s no wonder the Catholic Church has seen a huge drop off of participants in the U.S. They just don’t seem to have any sense of humor these days. God, while wrathful in the Old Testament, is pretty hilarious in the New.  Sure, there is all kinds of suffering for his boy Jesus, but I think you have to look a little deeper to see the true comedic styling’s of our Lord and Savior. I mean think about it, a Jewish carpenter who hangs out with tax collectors, whores and fishermen? I mean, if that’s not the premise for a Broadway comedy then I don’t know what is.

Because God is clearly hilarious it puts this whole health care/birth control/lady’s private parts debate in a really bizarre place for me. I’ve hesitated on commenting on it basically because I have a penis and really, the Church digs that I do. So I really can’t have much of a voice in the debate.  Church leaders seem to think that the vagina is a place of evil mystery that God created to taunt Adam. (I guess I could understand that since most of the Catholic hierarchy took vows of celibacy and maybe have never been that up close to a vagina.) I was pretty mystified by them through puberty until I saw one and I was like, awesome. As far as I’m concerned, God = Vagina. I like going there and sometimes, new life comes out. Unlike Church, where nothing changes and I come out bored.

I think it’s pretty ludicrous for the male hierarchy of the Church to be so against the will of God. I say that because of the whole predetermination thing. God knows what we’re up to and if he was really displeased, well, I’m sure he would have done something by now. Hell, God made it through the 1970’s without smiting all of humanity. So I think we’re doing okay by him.

I just think that government has no place in matters of faith. I believe in God, but he doesn’t tell me who to vote for. I use the brain God gave me to make that decision and by doing so, I think I honor our hilarious creator. “God gave you a brain, now use it”.

So back to my original premise; that yellow car I saw kind of put God’s sense of humor in perspective for me.  He knew I’d think it was odd to see a smashed up yellow car so he threw a functioning one at me (with the perfect comedy timing only a super omnipresent being could have) and got a good laugh out of me. And that then led me to write this piece which hopefully will put some of the silliness and seriousness in which we human beings tend to view ourselves into perspective.

I think Religion or Government have no place in telling women, or anyone how to take care of their own bodies or judge them for the choices they make. Abortion, while controversial, may very well be part of God’s plan. Birth Control, also part of God’s plan. I’m pretty sure the Devil didn’t whisper something into a scientist’s ear and told him to create The Pill, and if he did, well, then isn’t that part of God’s plan too?

Sure, there’s real evil in the world, choices made by men and women resulting in the harm of innocent people and perhaps, that’s what we should focus on. Not whether God gets peeved by health care insurance paying for your condoms or birth control.

So I think everybody should shut up and just marvel at the hilarious complexities and weirdness of this spinning planet, which was allegedly made in six days. (Why would an all powerful, omnipresent, super-being need to rest for a day? That’s just weird.)

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