There was no time to react. The explosion ripped across the desert sands and demolished everything in its path. Thursday just happened to be driving across the desert highway, lost as usual, trying to make it to his hot surfer girl’s place in California when the radioactive blast tossed his Chevy off the road and into a ditch.
Thursday staggered from his wrecked car and collapsed into the sand. The burns across his body were endlessly painful and he thought he was done for. He thought of his sweet Suzy, his little surfer girl, and how he’d never hold her again. He remembered something his mother said, “If you are ever caught in a nuclear blast remember to wear clean underwear”. Thursday always argued with her because disintegration didn’t care what your underwear was like. But now he was glad he did indeed put on clean shorts this morning. He struggled forward away from the smoldering wreckage of his old Chevy and with a final gasp, passed out.
Thursday woke to a blinding light in his eyes and the sound of metal clanging and a siren blaring off in the distance. He could hear people whispering all around him but he couldn’t make out their words. All he could think about was his Suzy, his surfer girl.
“Mr. Thursday?”
Thursday was unable to open his mouth to respond but a small woman came into focus.
“Mr. Thursday, my name is Dr. Tuesday and I want to let you know that everything is going to be okay. You’ve been in a very serious accident and we’re taking care of you”.
Thursday just nodded and he felt a rush of wind by his head as he did so. He tried to move his right arm but he seemed to be strapped down to something. He licked his lips and started to speak.
“Doctor, wha… what happened to me? Why can’t I move? Am I gonna be okay? I gotta get to Suzy”.
“Who is Suzy Mr. Thursday? Was she with you in the car?”
“No…no, she’s my girl, my surfer girl in California”.
“I see, well, we’ll try to reunite you soon. Please just relax and everything will be fine”.
Thursday tried to relax but something just didn’t feel right. He felt angry. Why should this kind of stuff happen to him all the time? He’s always getting in to some kind of trouble and it’s never really his own fault. Stupid doctor’s performing tests or whatever. All he wanted was to get to Suzy, his surfer girl, and kiss her all over.
Thursday decided he’d had enough of this waiting. Suzy was demanding and wouldn’t understand why he was late. Thursday opened his eyes and looked all around. Nothing seemed unusual, he looked down his body and he didn’t see any burns or bandages or anything. He was wearing what looked like a diaper however. A big diaper. He looked down to his feet and saw an army Jeep parked near and he couldn’t believe it. His foot was nearly the size of the Jeep. He wiggled his toes to make sure and by god it was his foot and it was huge.
Thursday began to struggle against the restraints. Dr. Tuesday began pleading with him to stay still. But Thursday didn’t listen.
“Surfer Girl!”, he bellowed as he ripped himself free from the straps holding him down. He stood and realized he towered over all creation. He looked down at his diaper and had another thought; he pulled the waist band back and looked down.
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Slim had just loaded his pick-up truck when he heard it. It was darn peculiar. It sounded as if one of the far off mountains, past the desert, was laughing. Laughing like a TV or movie maniac. Clem Jenkins came out of his store and looked at Slim. It seems he heard it too.
“Is… is that laughter?” asked Clem.
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